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uh.... make it stop.   
10:22pm 03/05/2008
  I am so empty.... I dont know what to do... what to think.... anything.

All I can say is I am an idiot....... and I really am sorry.
 
     

(You stole my heart)

 
ummm....   
01:16am 31/12/2006
  Hey, im still alive. I forgot I had one of these things. Dang.  
     

(3 I won't break its | You stole my heart)

 
WEEEEE!   
11:48am 13/09/2006
 
mood: determined
I'm still alive. I'm trying to buy a house. Anyone got a few thousand dollars I could borrow?? haha.

Mark and I are doing great. I dont think I could be happier.
 
     

(1 I won't break it | You stole my heart)

 
hmmm   
01:40am 12/07/2006
  People talk too much.  
     

(2 I won't break its | You stole my heart)

 
....   
09:38pm 09/07/2006
  MAAAAAAAN!! I am an idiot sometimes.  
     

(You stole my heart)

 
hmmm....   
12:07pm 02/07/2006
 
mood: curious
What I want I can't have. What I want to want and should want, I don't. What I could have, I don't want.

...This sucks...

I should just be happy with the way things are. I mean.... I am happy about that. Maybe I'm selfish and I just want more.

I need to go shopping now.
 
     

(You stole my heart)

 
Grow up!!!   
01:27pm 25/06/2006
 
mood: content
Some people really need to grow up!! Seriously. Its so stupid. Get a life....really. I hate it when people have nothing better to do then make fun of other people.... expecally if they dont know them. It probably is because they are jealous... or stupid. In this case probably both. Whatever... I know who the better person is.

Last night was fun. A lot of fun. And a bit scary. Mark and Melissa's graduation party was last night. It was nice to see their family and friends I havent seen in a while. I'm not going to lie...... i had a bit to drink..... But I remember most of the stuff that happened..... "if it looked like that I would eat it" Laying in the parking lot then mark throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me inside.... SteveO hitting on me hardcore....singing karaoke.... shots...beer...which I hate.... lots of water and bathroom breaks..... taking mark home.... i honestly was worried about him, but im glad linsay and I took good care of him. Then I went to rams horn with mandy dave sarah james and dan. OHHHH what a day. =) I have to get ready for work now. TA!
 
     

(1 I won't break it | You stole my heart)

 
   
11:11pm 14/06/2006
  Sometimes I just want to give up. It seems like nothings going to change. But for some reason I can't because I know how its supposed to be.

Pretty much my world is upside down right now. But im not gonna let it get me down. This summer is going to be great no mater what.
 
     

(2 I won't break its | You stole my heart)

 
.........   
03:42pm 03/06/2006
 
mood: confused
How do you tell someone you miss them even though you dont think they will care?? Why does this world have to be such a confusing place?? Why do we do stupid things? I hate the way I feel right now. I wish I had someone to run to and have them hold me while I cry. I screw up alot. and that sucks.
 
     

(1 I won't break it | You stole my heart)

 
..........   
12:02am 15/05/2006
 
mood: happy
Everyone always says things happen for a reason. This is true. But why are we so stubborn to believe it. It would just make life so much easier if we did. There's so much to life that we dont have time to sit around and be sad about something so stupid and that wasnt worth your time anyways. I'm glad that I have realized that I am better then that and that God has a purpose for me. He has amazing things for me. That excites me.

I want to say thank you. Its to a few people and for a few different reasons. Thank you.
 
     

(1 I won't break it | You stole my heart)

 
Who I am Hates Who I've Been....   
11:35am 06/05/2006
 
mood: excited
I haven't made a real update in a while. Just small friends only post here and there. Well... I was going to make this one friends only as well.... then i desided not to. I have nothing to hide. Pretty much I want to say that things are awesome right now. They could be better at home.... but they are ok. Everything is looking up and I'm so much happier. It been this way for about a month now. What changed you might ask? Everything. I started seeing things in a different way. I started thinking about why I let somethings get me sooooo down. And the answer was I dont know. So it was time to just let go of those things and be happy. and I have and I am happy. I'm closer with my friends again. Some friends are closer then ever before. And now God has placed Jesse in my life and for that I am sooooo thankful. Jesse is seriously amazing. So far all my friends adores him. My mom and step dad love him. THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!!! And I simply think he is great. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want the relationship I used to have with God back. I see Jesus in him....and I need to see Jesus in me too. He really is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. And not to mention we have an awesome story about how we met. Most of you know it so im not going to repeat it. But if you dont then we need to talk more. haha. I feel really blessed right now. Things are looking up more and more everyday and I thank God for it. I have some issues I need to work on.... but with his help I know I will be fine. =) yay... im smiling. And to all my friends... I love you guys! Thanks for being there for me while I was dealing with...ummm... well yea.... you know. I should have listened to what everyone was saying but i was blind. And now I feel stupid for it. haha. Really I love you all.

ok.... i think thats it. Chow!
 
     

(4 I won't break its | You stole my heart)

 
No matter what happens.....   
02:23pm 01/05/2006
  I have started to realize that things are going to be ok. They are going to be better then ok. They are going to be awesome.  
     

(5 I won't break its | You stole my heart)

 
Does this shirt make me look fat???   
12:00am 22/04/2006
 
mood: confused
Just a question... something ive noticed a lot latley.... why does everyone this the guys I date are gay? or I attract the girlie guys? Seriously.... is it really like that? It kinda bothers me. But not like oh im pissed at everyone that thinks that. Im not mad at all. I think its funny. Ok thats all. Im going to bed instead of getting wasted. =) good night.
 
     

(You stole my heart)

 
awwww   
05:11pm 19/04/2006
 
mood: excited
I have a baby squirrel. He is black and tiny and cute! His name Nemo Nutnut.

I'm not keeping him. I will let him go when he is all grown up.
 
     

(4 I won't break its | You stole my heart)

 
I'm sorrybut this is how it is.........   
03:27pm 18/04/2006
 
mood: complacent
I just want to scream sometimes. It's gotten to the point where i dont care anymore. I cant do anything about it. Ive tried and only get pushed away. So whatever happens happens. I will deal with it then. But until then grow up and stop being such a wuss! I dont know if you will read this or not, but I dont care. Your not going to bring me down anymore.

The End.
 
     

(You stole my heart)

 
....sigh....   
01:40pm 14/04/2006
  Last night was a really good time. Good times with old friends and new. Still had a hard time getting my mind off things though. Today's been a rough day. I hope i make it through the weekend. At least im working a lot. I mean... things cant get worse....can they?? I need some serious friends time!!  
     

(You stole my heart)

 
STOP IT!!!!!!!!   
04:24pm 08/04/2006
 
mood: pissed off
Well... I have been doing ok. I wish it was better. But in the past few days that all changed. Now its back to how things were. Why do this to me? This is not fair. I am so angry about this. I hate your how you are!!! I dont want to deal with this all over again. Its stupid and uncalled for. Dont tell me about it. I dont want to know. That doesnt mean I dont care because I do.... I just dont want to deal with you. I hate the games. I hate worrying. I hate it I hate it!! Just when I start to be able to smile again you go and pull this. Thanks for nothing.

I need to go scream.

how are you doing?
 
     

(You stole my heart)

 
   
03:05am 06/04/2006
  If I said I miss you would you care?? If I said im sorry would you forgive me??  
     

(1 I won't break it | You stole my heart)

 
   
01:53am 05/04/2006
  Ok... i think about things too much. I let myself get all worked up and I dont need to do that! I cant stop what im thinking and its making me sick to my stomach. I need to relax!!

I just wanna scream.
 
     

(You stole my heart)

 
   
01:37am 05/04/2006
  I'm sad. 2 copies of the cd... both gone. I know where they both are too. Ones somewhere in grand rapids and one is in Linsay's car. Its ok. I will just make another one.

Its been hard pretending.... but i think im doing a good job at it. =)
 
     

(You stole my heart)